Movie Rentals LOL!

So I'm truckin' along on the Whitby jumper....really enjoying that. It was supposed to be finished for the spring-I said I was going to wear it on the first harbour cruise of the season. I'm about 3/4 the way up the back and 3 more pieces to go. No big deal, I can still wear it in the autumn. I'm debating weather to make another pair of log cabin socks....that Elsabeth Lavold angora/wool blend if he's a nice guy, Shetland wool if he's not. Too soon to tell yet. I can knock those out in a week or less so I'm not worried.

I just finally ordered a Doctor Who t shirt from my favourite episode that is on the UPS truck as I'm typing this. I can wear it tonight to knit night :) WOOT! WOOT!!!


I also ordered a new night stand that I think I should have Monday if the confirmation e mail is correct. I'm real excited about this-it's really really nice...and no, it's not a naked guy table LOL! It's even better...at least it's ilk have been nicer to me than guys ever have. I now need to find what to do with a huge stack of art books because there is no under the table shelf or storage. I guess it'll be relegated to the attic with everything else. There's so much that needs to be thrown out up there but my dad won't do it so I have the lovely task of doing it when he's dead 'coz he's just as big a pack rat as my grandfather was. Funny, he berated my grandfather for that and he does the same damn thing. I should just start doing smaller stuff now. See, this is the reason that anything I throw out now I smash with a sledgehammer-my dad went and fished a broken electronic typewriter out that is still sitting in his bedroom. He doesn't type and the damn thing is broken but still, he's saving it. For????????? Chances are good if he's not attempted to use it in 23 years, he's not going to. GET RID OF IT!!!

In meantime, I got all my DVD's sorted. This is part of them. There's another shelf off to the left of this that is filling with TV shows and music videos and that lot. I could open a rental store, no? LOL! According to Delicious Library, I have 458 DVD's....LOL! I own more DVD's that CD's. Never liked CD's but I'm not going there now. I think if you click the pic you can see a lot of the titles...not sure if Blogger shrinks it more so you can't? Apparently Blogger shrinks it even more so you can't read the titles.

One Word

I saw this on my friend Lorraine's blog so I stole it. I think I did this once before but what the hell....

Rules: You must answer the questions using only one word. Then tag four others.

1. Where is your cell phone? Dresser

2. Your significant other? CK

3. Your hair? CANDYFLOSS!

4. Your mother? Dead

5. Your father? Home

6. Your favourite thing? Roller-coasters

7. Your dream last night? Sex

8 Your favorite drink? Absinthe

9. Your dream/goal? Happiness

10. The room you’re in? Office (?)

11. Your hobby? Knitting

12. Your fear? Heights

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy

14. What you’re not? Laid

15. Muffins? CUTE!

6. One of your wish list items? Muffins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

17. Where you grew up? Here

18. The last thing you did? Showered

19. What are you wearing? Jeans

20. Favorite gadget? Vibrator (you want honest or a lie?)

21. Your pets? Cat

22. Your computer? Macintosh

23. Your mood? Horny

24. Missing someone? Yes

25. Your car? Jaguar

26. Something you’re not wearing? Shirt

27. Favorite store? Tiffany

28. Like someone? Yes

29. Your favorite color? Purple

30. When is the last time you laughed? Just now?

31. Last time you cried? Yesterday

It seems that everyone has been tagged for this- but in case you haven't been - please play along. Finding a single word for an answer can be challenging.

How come the link didn't work?

I don't have one, shit out of ideas

I'm feeling really vulnerable and uneasy the past couple days which means my bohemian streak is starting to rear its head.
That means I'm fighting an urge to put the purple back in my hair. I'm getting older so I dunno what the fuck I care what other people think but I'm thinking if I do it is exactly when I'd bump into D again and that's all I need after 16 years of heartache over him, to run into him again looking like a freak. Would it even matter to him? Someone else I have my eye on too that I see fairly regularly.....not sure he's gay for starters and is he even into older men if he is? He's really sweet but I'm 40 and have a lot of baggage that I'd not expect a 20 something to deal with...he shouldn't have to. He's young and that's a time to enjoy yourself, not having to deal with some old fuck's problems...I wish I could go back and do it again.

I guess I'm feeling like a caged animal and I don't like it....I could bust at the seams. It has to stop....I can't deal with this. I want to jump out of my skin.

I fucked up the last row of knitting...have to rip it back tomorrow.

There's something wrong with me.I wish I could get electroshock done to scramble my brains....forget everything up until the point in time it was done...get a totally new lease on life.

I think the best thing to do is for me to do first is seek a past life regression therapist....delve into that to see what the fuck exactly I am here for 'coz I can't figure it out anymore and I'm damn tired of the bullshit. I thought I had it figured out at one point but I guess I was dead wrong. I'm just tired of it all...and everything.

Felt good for a couple weeks and BAM....feeling like shit again. I need to get laid...for one thing...that's a major part of the problem. Who knewthis is how it'd be when you're involved with someone?

I'll leave you with this video....Damn Terry Bozzio is fucking hot!!!! Love his expression beating those skins during the solo-so sexy!

Settling In and knitting

I got my new waterbed yesterday. Dude from the store came and set it up in about 45 minutes. I clearly remember my old one taking my dad and I MUCH longer. I was amazed to see this guy haul the headboard himself...it's huge and heavy and it's attached to the frame before he can lift it. He wasn't much bigger than I am either. SO for the first time in over a week, I finally slept well last night. I guess the novelty of a new bed made it feel like the first time ever on a waterbed. The mattress pad is different so that had to play into it as well.I used to use these cheap ass synthetic pads on the old bed and they'd bunch up and shift and I HATED the sand it left behind that I had to clean up every 6 months. This is a very heavily quilted envelope the mattress goes into, you fill it then zip the pad closed. It's like sleeping on a cloud. I'm tempted to say it's similar to those egg crate things except only more comfy than that.


The frame is nice tho I wasn't all that wild about the roses painted all over the glass. My old one was all wood, no glass but the 80's are over and waterbeds are not the popular things they were back then. Back then you couldn't go to a mall or any place without seeing a store for them.Now I know of only one place in my area that sells the classic waterbeds and the styles are very slim. Still, I'm happy with it. I LOVE the King size...never slept on a King size before and I did not want to get out of bed this morning. My back is not screaming at me anymore and my shoulder doesn't hurt as much. I guess after 24 years of sleeping on one, it is the only thing I can sleep on anymore.

I've been knitting too. I got about 28 rows done which is one complete repeat. I'll work more on that today. I should have the jumper done by the fall if I work on it steadily.At least I'm knitting again and that feels good. I guess the stress down that hell hole was just too much. I'm far more relaxed here.

The madness of moving

Well, I'm back living at my dad's. I just couldn't take it down that hell hole another day. Last Thursday night I stormed off. Called the mayor the next day telling him I was forced out of my own home and thank you for dicking me around on buying my house. First he said the city was interested-no shit-they could expand the fucking dept. of public works-then his people told me he never said any such thing and he has no authority to say any such thing. What did I do, pull that statement out of my ass? Can you see the mentality I'm dealing with-the mayor should have known that if it's true but whatever. So I called him again and told him since I can't get hold of him and he refuses to return calls (this from the person who said he was the most accessible mayor this ghetto has had in years) I have no recourse but to go to the local news channels and expose how corrupt the city really is. The next morning I found the back window to my Jag smashed. I wish I saw who did it so I could have gone out and dismembered them.



ANYWAY....life is much less stressful here but carries with it some stresses of its own. It's not easy at 40 to go back home. Still it beats the shithole I was living at before. I've not had much time to write as my BF comes up to visit me at night (he stayed at the house or my dad is pacing around which really grates on me at times....retirement shouldn't be an option for people that have no real hobbies....it's dangerous really to have all that idle time and it just rots the brain. Not healthy. Mental activity is important and watching tv and looking out windows doesn't do the job.

I got hooked up to Verizon DSL for internet but have big problems with e mail and they're useless as they don't support Thunderbird...they only support MS Outlook Express. I asked them if they're aware MS abandoned that a few years ago.

A heavy metal concert would be great about now but ya gotta love the USA...they decided we didn't need metal and killed it off. This Numetal shit they can keep...it ain't real metal. Something is gonna have to give 'coz I can't blast music anymore and that's not gonna work. I may need to get me a passport and go to Germany to see some concerts. Soft music is going to kill me.

The bed I've been sleeping on is crippling me, I've been sleeping on a waterbed the past 24 years. I ordered a new one Monday or Tuesday and got a call it will be delivered next Tuesday. Thank god! I can't wait...at least I'll be able to sleep comfortably again. The bed I'm on is like sleeping on cinder blocks and is REALLY hard to get to sleep. This move is costing me a lot of money-UGH!

Still, I was able to knit yesterday, 2 rows but I did some anyway. I guess I'm still getting settled in. My cat is loving exploring the house, looking out windows and not being blocked from the other side of the house by a division wall like at the other house. I think she's tired from so much to see LOL!


Doctor Who is on tonight...first time I've gotten to see it in three weeks...can't wait! I suppose I could buy the past two episodes I missed on iTunes but I'll get the whole set when it comes out on DVD No big deal.

I'll close with this:

What's Going on?

OK, normally, I despise rap music but this is sorta fusion. The fact this reminds me a lot of the opium tinged Alice In Wonderland doesn't hurt...nor does the fact the singer is fucking hotter than hell. Holy shit.....

Sunday Morn' Creativity

LOOK OUT! Helter Skelter

At some point things are going to look up...they have to, no? A person can only take so much negativity and frankly I'm tired of it but I got even more bad news on selling this twat trap so......I've been singing this, shouting is more like it, all day. When I've not been crying on the sofa.

I'm sorry for being so whiny and immature lately, I've just had more than enough fucking negativity and can't take anymore.


In two weeks,we will be in New jersey riding roller coasters at Six Flags. Suffice to say,I'm planting my ass on row 9 of Nitro and NOTHING is going to pry my ass off that coaster.
This ought to be cute,pulling back in crying because it feels to good to ride.


In meantime, crank up the volume and sing along. I generally don't like covers but Pat Benatar did an awesome job of this, I think.

Expression

I guess this is pretty self-explanatory to anybody who knows what has been going on the past few weeks.To those that do, yes, it's tearing me up inside. To those that don't...it's just artistic expression. As always...this is for you D...if you ever see this.

I'm a Mean Motherfuckin' Man

City fucked me around for over a month to tell me they're not interested in buying this fuckhole. ANybody wanna buy my house? Can blast your stereo 24/7 and not bother anybody...I'd love to put a fucking needle in my arm right nw...too bad I'm such a pussy.

I'm fucking OUTTA HERE! FUCK YOU EVERETT MASSACHUSETTS!!! NO MORE LOW CLASS WELFARE TOWNS FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!

In My Dreams

Great Dokken song...but dreams can be torture.

Two Moon Junction

I was feeling great last night...made some good progress with my writing and have been bolstered up to the heavens since I just got Mike Oldfield's autobiography on Friday. I think I understand his music a bit better and so far, it feels like someone looked into my life and described it-I can relate to the isolation and being outcast and all that stuff. The book is amazing.

I watched Two Moon Junction as well. I forgot how hot that movie was...smokin' hot! Great couples movie to get the blood flowing. It's been years since I saw it and it just popped into my mind for some reason. I need to order it on DVD. Sherilynn Fenn was absolutely gorgeous in that...I don't think she's ever looked better. Platinum blonde suited her well. Maybe I'll watch it again tonight, not sure.

Speaking of platinum...busy week for me. I go get the second laser treatment on my face Tuesday morning and then Thursday I go get my roots done. It's really thinning on top at the crown...may be time to start looking into weaves or a wig. YIKES! I can't deal with it. I see some of these guys..like Mike Oldfield..he just turned 55 years old a couple of weeks ago and still has a full head of hair, ditto Ozzy Osbourne, and a smattering of other rockers...what did I do wrong? Is the key to retaining hair taking drugs? If I knew that's what I needed to do to keep my hair I'd have developed me a drug habit instead of just experimenting. Seriously....I cannot handle losing my hair. Thank god it's still full everywhere else, for the time being.



I'm supposed to be knitting, huh? Been ages since I've blogged about knitting. It's a little too warm to knit right now tho.

Time to go do some writing now...

Paradise..Tesla

I dunno what to say. I'm writing, the book is coming along well. I'm really happy with how it's going. It feels like I've been given a muse. At the same time I'm scared the flow is going to end so I'm doing as much as I can when I'm feeling it. I just feel this flow of creativity like I've not felt since the 80's. I don't want it to end. I should be trying to get some music going too but writing is what I find the most difficult now so that's what I'm concentrating on. With 14 chapters written in about 3 weeks, I think I'm doing pretty well.

One scene I just wrote tonight involved a concert which made me think of my past and this song. It's always been special to me.I know it's probably futile at this point but D....This song goes out to you.



I am smarter than 75.01% of the rest of the world.
How Dumb Are You?

Smokie vocals

Wow...what a night. I've been working on some music and lots of stuff came flooding back. I'm hell-bent on recording Smokie's "If You Think You Know How To Love Me". I've been belting that out all day. Actually, I've been listening to Smokie most of the afternoon. They just had that damn feel good vibe of the 70's. As I was working on a short story just now, This gem came on and stopped me dead in my tracks. It's kinda hard to sing for a few reasons, not knowing it all that well for starters but this conjured up memories of my past. A certain someone who will never leave my mind and also my mom. I'm sure my mom is leaning on a chair or something watching me work on the vocals to this. I was unable to find a video for it that Smokie recorded so this will have to do. I want to say, even tho I know he's probably not ever going to see this, all those nights delivering to Rockit, I've never forgotten you Pizza Boy. Those eyes and that smile are burned in my memory forever. So for you mom...and for you D.......

Bring on the lasers! I'm fighting back!

Well, I had an appointment for Botox today at a medspa and decided I wasn't sure if I wanted the maintenance of it. Every 4 months going back for another injection. I have a dent between my eyebrows that has bothered me for a long time and I've been considering this for about 2 years I guess. The nurse told me to take my time and decide
-she didn't try to pressure me into it. If the Botox didn't smooth out the dent on its own, I could get a Juvederm injection which is really what I wanted but she said that the muscles are too strong and too active between the brows and the Juvederm would break down within a month and be wasted money.


I had asked her opinion on IPL treatment, a Photofacial. She said she loved them and thought they were good. I had read they were snake oil, have read a lot on those and while most were relatively benign, I thought I'd ask. Well, one could be done right there on the spot. So I went ahead with that, not really sure what to expect.

Let me say right now, I can fully understand how people get addicted to cosmetic procedures. The Photofacial was not at all like I expected. I didn't feel a thing on my forehead, around my eyes or on my cheeks. It did HURT when she got to where my beard was. Less painful than tattooing but it stung. She said because the hair absorbs the energy. I guess it must be like what electrolysis feels like, I dunno. I've only ever waxed my face before and this was different.

Right off the bat with only one treatment,I can see a significant difference in a red splotch on top of my right cheek I used to agonise over with make up to cover and it never STAYED covered. I would say it has lightened up about 70% and will be completely erased with the next treatment in 3 weeks. I THINK maybe I see a difference with the baggy areas beginning to form on the sides of my nose, they seem less pronounced but I can't tell yet if it's real or just wishful thinking.

I am now seriously thinking of going to the dermatology dept. of Mass General hospital for C02 laser which is pretty serious business-it's the most aggressive laser, I had the weakest today and it wasn't even a laser what I did today. That will most assuredly do what I want that I know this Photofacial can never do. C02 laser will tighten my skin, it will smooth out the texture and given how I look now, I think I can turn back the clock and make me look more like I did at 23 or 24. TO tighten up the frown lines, erase the crows feet starting to form and even out the texture is really what I want and make me happy. I also think I am going to go ahead and get the Botox/Jevederm but I still need to weigh that....that is a process that needs to be done every 4 months...the Botox anyway...and I already have a heavy commitment with keeping my roots up bleaching them every 4 weeks.

I never said I planned to age gracefully. As a teenager I was a tough-talker, saying I would get a facelift when the time came. Done right, I think they look awesome but as the years have passed and I've seen what these surgeries actually involve...I'm not such a big mouth anymore and lasers are one of the few things left that do not scare the shit out of me (maybe they should?) It's the only thing, aside from chemical peels, that I have left to fight time with. Surgery with knives is out...I just can't do it but I'm still young enough that lasers can work miracles if I choose a doctor wisely.

If I go with the C02 laser, I'll really have no choice but to get the Botox/Juvederm as that dent ages me and is really what started all of this.

I can hear my mom now, what a vain bastard I am, wasting my money...but I can't help it. Is there anything wrong with wanting to look like I'm 24 while I'm still young enough to do it without looking totally ridiculous? What's wrong with wanting smooth, even toned skin? Why shouldn't I exercise that option? What is wrong with wanting to look youthful while I still can?

I know already that I'm in big trouble...I cannot handle ageing....there's nothing wrong with it except I do not want to get old looking. I'm not ready...when will I be ready? I dunno,maybe never, I have no idea. I just know right now I'm at a point where I can fight back and I think that's just what I'm going to do. I don't have unrealistic expectations, I'm not doing it for anybody but myself. I'm seen as a freak already so I don't really care, I only care about making myself happy and I think this will do it.

Moonlight Shadow

Maybe it's when I get in low cycles of mood but this is one song my my biggest non-metal idol, Mike Oldfield. This man is a guitar god like no other, and far more than a musician. I can't tell you how long I've been into him, I was very young when I first got Tubular Bells, maybe 12. Before I go rambling, here's one of my favourite songs sun by a vocalist who wasn't with him long enough, Scottish born Maggie Reilly. She has the voice of an angle and I guess she still releases records. For you John Lennon fans, take a good listen to the lyrics, the song was said to be inspired by John's assassination.



One more...Five Miles Out....Can you tell this man is a demi-god to me? Once upon a time I could hit all of her notes....no more :(



OK, Last one, I promise. This one's called Punkadiddle.....it has always been a huge favourite and very near and dear to me. It's kinda crazy, a whole lotta fun....I love how at the end he's toying with the audience and enjoying it ;)The studio version is a bit better but it's always fun to see them perform it live.

Ever-Evolving

Jesus it's been over a month since I blogged. A lot has been going on, a lot of internal stuff I've been struggling with. Some personal issues which are really hard to deal with and other stuff that's just frustrating like living in this dump with the noise. I only wish the two newest industries moved in a year prior to my moving here
and I never would have destroyed my life by leaving home. Its cost me a lot in terms of personal happiness, health and stability. Not sure there's a lot to do with the economy in the shitter, I've endured far too much to take a big loss on selling in this market. HOWEVER...

I've been writing again because I just need to. There's things swirling in me and bubbling and it needs to come out so I'm working on a story and have about 4 or 5 more I started that never finished. Maybe I'll work on those once I get this one done.

I also hadn't anticipated my current venture back into music. A good friend of mine is gearing up to release her new CD this summer and as we were talking, I googled one of the programmes she's using and watched the demos and thought about it for about 3 and a half minutes before promptly ordering the damn thing. SO now I sit, frantically trying to learn Apple's Logic that I bought last year for some strange reason or other and only installed but never used. This new programme reminds me a lot of my vintage 80's synth, the Fairlight CMI which I ache to use again.

This'll be different as I've not really done electronic music since the mid 80's. I switched over to guitar because I got sick of screwing with computers and this and that setting and all this other technical stuff. With guitar, you just plug in, tune up and rock out. But here I go back to the rocket science again...and it really is now. Back when I was doing it before it was sort of in its infancy and so new that it was easy to grab what you needed to know because we were all learning together but now it's mind boggling. It'll be interesting though to see where this leads. I've always admired Mike Oldfield and put him up in some pagan God-Like status...maybe I can create soundscapes as haunting and beautiful as he has.

I don't know if this is the blessing or the curse aspect of being a Pisces. It's interesting tho how things cycle and evolve and constantly change. For now, I'll leave with a pic of two of my favourite people I recently met.

Let's ride a bull!

Well, I said I'd take ya on another guided visual of another favourite coaster. I'll apologise in advance for the video, the dude is screaming before anything happens but it's the only video I could find that starts in the station. I hope you like steep drops 'coz this is the mother of all drops at the moment. El Toro at Six Flags Great Adventure. 181 feet tall...not too bad given Nitro is 230 feet tall, eh? The drop is 176 feet at a 76 degree angle and for all intents and purposes, it may as well be a sheer 90 degree drop because when you're on that train and round the bed and begin pointing down....it IS a straight drop.

So you make your way to the queue. It's always packed unless you hit it right when the park opens. The only bad thing about El Toro is they let too many people into the station. It's small in there and get too crowded. For air time, you gotta sit in the back. It doesn't really matter where you sit, you get a great ride. As you're standing there, you watch a few trains come down that drop and you wonder what you got yourself into. The train speeds by in a blur...70 mph never seemed so fast and this ride is 10 mph SLOWER than Nitro. It sounds aggressive, it looks aggressive, it IS aggressive. Two people ahead of you then it's your turn to board. They load, their train is checked and off they go. You stand there, heart beginning to race and you think you'll have a few minutes to compose yourself but think again, here comes the second train, it unloads and the air gates hiss open. You notice how long the train looks ass you slowly edge forward and take a seat on the outside seat.

You're sitting down when I tell you you're sitting on the seat belt and you definitely need it on this ride. Lifting up, you grab the belt, fasten it and pull the lap bar down.
"What does extreme uplifting forces mean?" you ask me as you point to an overhead sign. I smirk and tell you it means exactly what it says....this coaster has extreme ejector air...and I mean EXTREME. "But it's fun, don't worry." "It's less scary than Nitro because it's not as high, right?" you ask with a nervous laugh as attendants come down the line and staple you in. "Let me put it to you this way....Nitro is like a Maine Coon cat...it's big, and it looks tough but a gentle giant. El Toro means business...it is going to buck you around and your butt isn't going to be in your seat until the end of the ride, during the twister section...just before we pull back into the station." Your eyes widen as the ever-familiar "All Clear, Enjoy your ride on El Toro" is announced and the train begins to roll forward slowly and makes a very sharp left turn.

We approach the lift hill and there's a sudden loud BANG! "That's just the catch car engaging the train." I say leaning my head back to enjoy the warm sun on my face. Suddenly, the train gains a lot of speed, almost like a mini launch. It takes no time at all to reach the top and the cable lift, the first on a wooden coaster, is eerily quiet. It slows as the train inches over the top and you notice the front reaching the drop. It is very quiet and still up here but there's not much time to take it in as we're beginning to get whipped over the drop.

STRAIGHT DOWN the ground is racing up to meet us, your butt is not in the seat and the train is going so fast it feels as if we're going to crash through the track and keep on going straight through the ground. 'Holy shit!" is all you have time to say before the G's plant you firmly in your seat as we race up the second hill where you again become airborne but smile and say CHEESE! It's picture time at the bottom of this hill. Again we race up and there's a very swift,sharp turn to the right...into a very heavily banked swoop to the right. The lateral G's are nice here. Racing to the sky again and turning to the left slightly we're diving into and behind the structure where the head-chopper effect is amazing. The train begins to turn to the left again and I say "This is the best part-hold on!" And it's true....after this swoop there's a slight incline as we cross over the other wooden coaster, Rolling Thunder and get one spectacular moment of extreme ejector air before the train hurtles into a very severe but extremely fun serpentine twister section that snakes along Rolling Thunder's infield. Pulling out everyone is laughing and cheering as the train finally begins to lose some speed and hit the brakes before pulling back into the station. "I wanna do it again!" you say running down the exit to get back in line.


The only real problem with El Toro is for the extreme speed, it's too short a ride. It is honestly over WAY too fast. During construction of this, there was one photograph someone snapped that showed workers on the lift hill and the first drop was in gorgeous view. It make both the lift and the drop lok impossibly vertical, I wish I could find that shot but I can't. I have this one but showing the workers strapped to the lift while laying down the track really put things in perspective.

"Stuck"

Wow...I don't even know where to begin so I guess at the top is a good place. I think I'm over my bad mojo. I've been working on a lace shawl. Beltane from Goddess Knits. It's perfect...not too hard that it's frustrating and not so easy that it's boring. See:




Actually, I'm a bit farther along than that-I finished that portion and picked up around the edge for the border. There's a few more of her shawls I want to get...they'll look great strewn over a book case and my bed's headboard. I'm going totally bohemian now that I'm 40.

Somebody started a roller coaster group on Ravelry. That was cool-I had thought about starting one not long after I got my invitation but didn't think there'd be enough people.

I've got an idea for a story. Actually, I had started it a while ago and didn't like how it was going so I put it aside. Now i've got some idea on where to go with it and was all excited to sit and write tonight and I can't. I get 'stuck'. I dunno what the hell is wrong with me. I'd got the ideas and I know it'll begin to write itself once I let go and become a passive vehicle but getting from "here" to there is the problem...I can see it all going on in my head but to click into that moment and do it...I dunno...

I was never like this...I used to write 9 pages per night EVERY NIGHT back in my 20's. I'd cook an idea during the evening, let it take shape and being to write about 9.30 or 10 at night and go until 2 or 3 in the morning. I was NEVER at a loss when it came to writing and now I have trouble...and it's not usually with the ideas bit just getting myself to click into that mindset and sit to do it. I dunno, I don't like it. I don't know if it's my environment (probably), my frame of mind...what.

I think I need a vacation from me. I keep hearing Pink's song "Don't Let Me Get Me" in my head...that's how I feel. What happened to that cosmic river of creativity that was so abundant in the 80's...it's just not there. I should probably have a glass of Absinthe or two...maybe I will...I dunno.....just not in the mood for alcohol. Oh this is horrible!

One thing I'm happy for is I got my roots done for my 40th birthday....my hair is so damn white, I'm over the moon with it. I'm so loving this. Why does it even matter?



I promised a few people another virtual ride on another coaster...next entry.


Now Playing: Pink ~ Just Like A Pill

Now Showing: Rosemary's Baby

The View from 230 Feet above the ground

I guess this is the time of year when things get really bad, just before the amusement parks open up and my roller coaster withdrawal gets really bad. The final month before opening seems to go by like frozen molasses, so close yet seemingly so far.


For the past five months, I've been riding this over and over in my head and on my coaster simulator computer programme. Every night when I get in bed I walk the queue line,walk up that long, tall flight of stairs and quickly walk to the back row of air gates just as a train pulls into the station...the clamshell harnesses open...the riders get off and walk down the exit.

I smile as the air gates hiss and swing open, take my seat in the final row either outside seat. Row 9 right makes you feel like you're going to get tossed and fly out on the turn of the second hill (it's a very sharp left turn), Row 9 left seat makes you feel like you are just going to slide right out and drop. Either side is amazing but Row 9 is where to ride this baby.


Dude behind the control panel checks to see the 2 other attendants have their thumbs up, he gives the familiar "All clear. Enjoy your ride on Nitro" (I'm getting goose bumps typing this) and the train is dispatched. Slowly rolling forward until it takes that brief diving swoop to the left and begins the noisy climb into the heavens.


The 52 second ride to the top is peaceful...you take in the sunny day,a you rise higher and higher more of the layout comes into view and you begin to get giddy with anticipation that in a short time you'll be flying over the tracks. Higher and higher you climb until.....is that the curve...yup...at the top...

Feet sticking straight out...Check, hands in the air....check, big shit-eating grin plastered across face...check and there's no time to think...the back row gets pulled over and down that sweet 215 foot drop at 80 MPH at a delicious 68 degree angle and for the next 2 minutes, everything is right in the world. NOTHING else matters...there is no stress, there is no anxiety, there is no sadness, there is no anger. Just pure joy-joy that comes from deep within your soul. There is nothing better! Not food, no drug not even sex can match the joy of this.

The train screams over the steep hills, into the hammerhead turn-around which is overbanked so the train does not lose speed, over another hill, into an S curve which whips you into a sweet double helix...the G's are so strong it's a fight to keep your hands up in the air. Sometimes there's deer feeding at the base of this helix...if you look down you can see them. You pull out and into the mid course brake run where you slow down somewhat but it doesn't matter because you're at the final 4 bunny hops baby....your ass is out of your seat! Hands up...feet out...butt up...into the brakes and back to the station. If it's still early in the day you can run around the exit and get back in the station for a re-ride fairly quickly...no more staying seated-they won't let you anymore.

Hello...my name is Jerry and I am a roller coaster addict. LOL!

I CAN'T STAND IT!!!!!!! I need to get on this again, it has been FIVE LONG MONTHS and will be at least another month before we get on it again.