Friday, September 05, 2008

Black Void

How long can one man survive without intimacy and passion before he snaps? Is 25 years long enough? Is it real or is it an illusion Hollywood has manufactured? I believe it is real...for the truly breathtakingly beautiful people of which I was not one this time around. Teetering on the edge of blackness yet again is frightening-the coldness of the world and the male race in particular is no fun.

Then again, artists are too sensitive and I can fully see why we are driven to drug abuse & suicide. My next life I want to come back as a female much like an ex freind of mine who had men (GAY and straight ) falling at her feet to do whatever they could to be in her presence because I fully intend to use and treat men like the shit they are.

I've prayed and cried to the has not brought Danny any closer to me. A drug habit is real close....just where to find a dealer? I can no longer live like this. It's time to escape.

For You Danny....You'll never know just how much of an impact you've had on my life. For 16 years my heart has cried rivers for you-when you walked into the room, you did set it on fire. I only hope wherever you are and whoever you're with, you are safe and happy. That's all I ever wanted for you...I only wish it were me that got to share that with you. I just didn't try hard enough. You were shy and I was too scared...I blew it without even trying. I'm sorry....I hope we'll meet again on the other side, I miss you so much....I'll always love you...And I would walk a thousand miles to see your smile (and eyes) one more time.

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