Well, at 8.30 tomorrow morning, I'll be at the vet putting my mom's cat to sleep. He is in end stage renal failure...he's gone way down the past week and the blood work came back today and the news is not good.
Aside from that, our oil company (that my dad has used since I was a teenager) has, as the Steve Miller song goes, taken the money and run. We are out a couple thousand dollars of oil money.
At this stage of the game, it appears I am never going to get the fucking relief that only Valium can give me. I have called a shrink today and I think I am going to start looking at the possibility of electroshock treatment. I want Valium but I think getting my brains scrambled will be more easily attainable. I'm not making light of it...this anxiety is BRUTAL and for some goddamned reason or other, the mere mention of the word Valium and cat claws come out and people go on the warpath. If one person could walk in my body for one week, they'd be singing a vastly different tune. But whatever...I'll be an interesting case of exactly what anxiety does to a person.
I suppose listening to Marillion is not the best idea at this time but hey-why not. I've got Clutching At Straws playing in iTunes.
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