R.I.P.

Well, at 8.30 tomorrow morning, I'll be at the vet putting my mom's cat to sleep. He is in end stage renal failure...he's gone way down the past week and the blood work came back today and the news is not good.

Aside from that, our oil company (that my dad has used since I was a teenager) has, as the Steve Miller song goes, taken the money and run. We are out a couple thousand dollars of oil money.

At this stage of the game, it appears I am never going to get the fucking relief that only Valium can give me. I have called a shrink today and I think I am going to start looking at the possibility of electroshock treatment. I want Valium but I think getting my brains scrambled will be more easily attainable. I'm not making light of it...this anxiety is BRUTAL and for some goddamned reason or other, the mere mention of the word Valium and cat claws come out and people go on the warpath. If one person could walk in my body for one week, they'd be singing a vastly different tune. But whatever...I'll be an interesting case of exactly what anxiety does to a person.

I suppose listening to Marillion is not the best idea at this time but hey-why not. I've got Clutching At Straws playing in iTunes.

Build a Bear (and knit for him too!)

Ok, we went out for supper last night with friends. While they went to a Christmas store, I spotted a Build A Bear and decided to go in and look around. I ended up making a bear and I want to introduce you to Morpheus, named after the Greek God of Dreams.

This is his little Christmas pajama set. I got him a scrub suit and a Santa outfit. I was just looking at all the clothes for them on the build a bear web site and I can tell this is going to be a dangerous thing for me...too many cute things for them...

BUT, I decided it might be fun to knit him an Aran sweater. Wouldn't take very long at all, I don't think.

I'm off to bed but wanted to introduce you to Morpheus. These shots were from this morning, the first when he wa still in bed and then after I got him up for breakfast. It's WAY past his bedtime now...

Post-Thanksgiving

{sigh} I don't know what to say anymore. Hmm..Thanksgiving was ok. I started out bad, I went nuclear earlier in the morning but I'm not going there again. Dinner was good, I anticipated it would be awful-we had issues with the turkey-well, the pan more specifically. But this is about knitting, isn't it...

Well...I'm knitting :-) I got one Log Cabin sock done. I'll post a picture as soon as I can get the spousal unit to model it. Kinda hard to get good pictures of it on my own leg. It's a real fun sock to do and it works up fast given that I'm so into Patrick and want to knit on that so much.

Oh yeah, I got a new camera. I got this beautiful Nikon camera on the 19th. I got tired of not having my own camera. Funny, usually I'm not keen on digital cameras, in fact, I am downright hostile towards them but I cannot praise this one enough. I absolutely love it. It takes gorgeous pictures and I feel more comfortable with it than that Minolta I had and ruined a few years ago (kicked over the tripod and it busted). This camera acts like any 35mm film SLR, I don't really feel like I'm using a digital camera. Since I've not shot pictures in almost 5 years, it's taking me a while to re-learn but I anticipate many happy years with this Nikon. And I always wanted a Nikon anyway. Now I just have to buy that infrared digital camera since Infrared is my real love in photography.

I shot this this evening with the new camera. I put the first Christmas decoration up after the Thanksgiving table was cleared. I love this, got it last year from the Bradford Exchange. I guess tomorrow I'll do more decorating. I was going to start tonight but I'm just too stuffed.

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving.

Playing in iTunes: No Ones Gonna Love You ~ SOS Band

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Brittany Needles!

I spent the vast majority of the weekend knitting on Patrick and listening to knitting podcasts. It's been a long time since I listened to them, even tho I kept downloading them, so there was a lot to catch up on. It was good to "spend that time" with Marie Irshad and Brenda Dayne, I missed hearing them. I bought a new iPod on Saturday, my old one needed a battery and I just wanted a new one that had the colour screen. The battery is supposed to last 14 hours between charges and I just recharged it today so that was a lot of catching up and I'm still not done :-)

Today I got the last of my goodies in the post. My Brittany needles. I'm happy although it's absolutely obscene the money I've spend on each pair. My grandmother would never let me hear the end of it but how can you say no to something you covet so strongly? I totally blame Men Who Knit and their first issue of their 'zine. If not for that, I'd never have even known about Brittany needles, nor seen these beautiful Victorian topped, hand turned needles so it's all their fault. Now I have sizes 5-8 and wasted no time at all in putting Patrick on them.

Yes that's a ball of Jade Sapphire I bought. I'm trying to figure out what to knit with it-scarf or what. I was looking to see what type of gauge I got with it. I guess with 3 55-gram hanks for a scarf. I should go easy on the cables. The vase was something I got for my mom once but I just can't recall what the flower arrangement was for. It came with the raffia tied round it. I thought the sentiment of that vase was perfect for storing the needles.

On that note, I'm headed off to bed now. It's time to pull the shade on today and turn the page.

Jade Sapphire, Patrick & Wood

I got some good stuff in the post today. It brightened my mood a bit. I got this Jade Sapphire cashmere - YAY! 2 hanks of Amethyst Haze and 4 hanks of Hydrangea. This is the 6 ply stuff, not the sock yarn. I figured I'd make fingerless gloves with the Amethyst given there's only 2 hanks of it. Trouble is, finding a nice pattern to suit the yarn. It has to be special for this beautiful yarn, no? Man does this feel nice!

I'll make a scarf with the Hydrenga, I loathe knitting scarves but I'll look through Barbara Walker's books to find a nice pattern to use. This stuff is going to be a big treat...THANK YOU KYRA!

If you look, you can see three wooden cable needles stuck in the yarn. I saw these in Knit Picks and had to order them. I'm a wood nut! I tried these on my current project but cotton yarn seems to stick to them, they'll be fine on cashmere and wool. Knit picks has some very cool stuff! I keep looking at their Bare yarn and dyes...I'm sort of getting tempted to try dying. Must finish my current project first.

This picture of my progress on Patrick is odd...I need to get it on two needles but didn't feel like knitting half a row. I should have an easier time as I also ordered 3 pairs of the Brittany needles I covet so much and those are a bit longer than normal needles. I have to really scrunch this up on my Clover bamboo needles when I'm done knitting for the day. Anyway, given this denim yarn is sport weight and I got my gauge on size 5 needles, I'm really surprised it's moving along as quickly as it is. Especially given the complexity of it. It really isn't bad at all once you get a rhythm going on it and I find I get lost in the knitting and hours pass before I realise I need to stop to eat or something LOL! I can't believe I'm knitting this...can't wait to wear it, but what a lot of weight it is for bamboo needles. Hope it doesn't break the Brittany's. I forgot how heavy cotton can get. It's been about 22 years since I last knit with cotton.

Do I need a title?

I can't think of one. My friend Kyra told me about a new podcast, Lime & Violet so I put the link there on my sidebar. I only have listened to one episode but it seems kinda fun. I like it.

Some stuff going on but I'm tired of complaining. I'm destined to be certifiable before I can move from this skanky slum I live in. I don't sleep much, I'm at wits end but I chug on. Let's just say after life hands you lemons, it then hands you steaming piles of dog shit. You know how in the winter there's....well....no need to go there.

I'm hoping I can have a clear enough head to do some knitting today. Kyra told me about some Jade Sapphire on e bay so I bought the whole lot...I have 5 hanks of the stuff heading my way. I should be happy but I'm too numb.

Anybody know how safe or authentic those places are on the web that offer Valium without a prescription?

Chugging along

I got to work on Patrick again yesterday, I've got about halfway through the second repeat of the chart. It surprises me, I got the gauge on size 5 needles but it is moving along much faster than I thought it would, despite the complexity of it. I have a bunch of shit to do this morning but plan to shut the world off by 11 and knit the rest of the day. I just can't deal with reality for long stretches anymore.

Speaking of, does anyone know if Purlsoho is having problems? I've been trying since yesterday to order some Jade Sapphire yarn. I created an account but it just sits there, trying to log me in and nothing happens. I don't even get a "connection timed out" box popping up. I could put my sorry ass on an Amtrak train and go get it myself faster than I could on the internet. Not a bad idea actually except my nerves cannot handle such a harried day