I can't sleep

I thought since I cannot get to sleep due to noise round here, I'd make an appearance on my blog. I just took a Xanax which will hopefully knock me out, or at least zone me out enough that I can fall asleep. This is the 4th night I've had to take one to get to sleep and I don't like doing this. They were not given to me to sleep-I am going to need these during the summer for my nerves and I'm on my last refill. I'll have to see next month if my doctor is still willing to give me more. I hope he is...I'm not keen on the idea of turning back into the psycho lunatic I was before January. The Xanax has stopped me from annihilating furniture and expensive electronic equipment.

A few weeks ago I ordered more Rowan Denim yarn for another sweater from their Denim book. It arrived this afternoon but I was running around like a madman I didn't get to dig into it. I got the darkest blue, I think it's called Tennessee? I now need to make up my mind between the two sweaters I got it for. Seahorse is one and Sheringham is the other.


I'm still writing. I'm in the process of finishing up another story. It's a bit slower going now than it was in my 20's....I can't shut the world out here. When I was living at home I could just close my door and that was it. I don't have that luxury here. There is no door to close. When I move I will make sure I have a room to write that has a door I can close. That scene in The Shining when Jack flips out and tells Wendy whenever she hears his typing to stay way really isn't that far off from the truth.

There has to be a happy balance between creativity and life...I just don't know how to strike it anymore. I used to...it's just not working out anymore. My life has become too damn structured. I live by rigid schedules, something I used to shake my head at my dad for doing-I've become worse than my dad ever was as far as that goes. I don't even fart if it's not scheduled in.

Happy Knitting...;-)

Sexy & Romantic glitter graphics from Sexi Luv.com